Here's a transcript of Nicole Sullivan's May 19, 2000 appearance on The Edge With Paula Zahn. The program aired at 10:00 PM EDT on the Fox News Channel.
ZAHN: It's Friday. And that means it's time to reflect on all that has happened this past week.
In an effort to keep things lively tonight, we've brought you the cast of ``Mad TV'' to help us with our review. If you're not familiar with these guys, take a look at
this.''
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
NICOLE SULLIVAN, ACTRESS, ``MAD TV'': Coco the gorilla lost her baby two days ago.
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Oh...
SULLIVAN: Yes, yes, sad. So any kind of excitement, I don't know what she'll do. So please, remain calm. Yes, thank you.
OK. Hi, Coco. Hi, Coco. Remember me? Yes, good girl. OK, Stuart, come with me very quickly.
MICHAEL MCDONALD, ACTOR, ``MAD TV'': Don't.
(LAUGHTER)
SULLIVAN: I need you to come with me right now.
MCDONALD: Don't.
(LAUGHTER)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
ZAHN: So what have we gotten ourselves into? Joining me-that was the real guys there. Joining me from ``Mad TV,'' Michael McDonald, that's him, Mo Collins,
and Nicole Sullivan.
Welcome. Congratulations.
SULLIVAN: Thank you.
ZAHN: Your show is doing great.
MCDONALD: Yeah.
SULLIVAN: Yeah, it's doing actually pretty well.
ZAHN: I guess you don't want to gloat about this. But I understand ``Saturday Night Live'' has lost about 10 percent of its audience in the past year. And you guys
keep on graining-gaining, gaining, gaining...
SULLIVAN: Grating on people's nerves in addition...
MCDONALD: Graining.
SULLIVAN: ... to gaining audience members.
MCDONALD: We're becoming ingrained with people. How's that?
ZAHN: Well, you hope that becomes an ingrained habit.
MCDONALD: Yeah. Wouldn't that be nice?
ZAHN: Now there's nothing off limits on this show. Right?
MCDONALD: No.
ZAHN: You like politics. I'm going to show our audience what you did to Al Gore this week when it comes to the issue of Social Security.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Mr. Rangel, now that you've announced your decision, obviously the administration would be happy with that. Are they offering to do
anything nice for you?
REP. CHARLES RANGEL (D) NEW YORK: Yeah, they've got to give me a free plane ride up to Albany so I can endorse the president's wife. Big deal.
(LAUGHTER)
(END VIDEO CLIP)
ZAHN: That of course was not the sound bite about Social Security, but Charles Rangel talking about what he got out of supporting Hillary Clinton. How did you
get him to do that?
MCDONALD: I don't know. But that's kind of how he talks. Like what-he wouldn't do a lot of voice over work.
SULLIVAN: No. No.
MO COLLINS, ACTRESS, ``MAD TV'': Well, he might...
(CROSSTALK)
MCDONALD: Maybe. Yeah, for like cough medicines.
SULLIVAN: I wonder if he has nodes.
MCDONALD: He probably has nodes.
SULLIVAN: Like nodes, nodules.
ZAHN: Now do you go out and meet these candidates? Do they want to see you? They don't want to hear from you?
COLLINS: They come to us with threats and...
SULLIVAN: The like, knowing full well. Charlie Rangel threatened to punch me in the nose if we did him on ``Mad TV.''
ZAHN: He did not.
(CROSSTALK)
SULLIVAN: I was doing Charlie Rangel, which is a lot of prosthetics. But I was...
COLLINS: Then Michael stole the bit.
SULLIVAN: ... Yeah. He's doing an imitation of me doing Charlie Rangel.
ZAHN: Out of curiosity, do these politicians have a sense of humor about what you're doing on the air?
SULLIVAN: My opinion is that you become an actor because you like attention. You also become a politician because you like attention. And I think any kind of
attention they, although they scoff, ``Oh, I don't appreciate it,'' they love it. They love...
COLLINS: Yeah.
SULLIVAN: ... being imitated. They love the fact that that is notoriety.
COLLINS: Yeah.
ZAHN: All right, let's take a look at that scene where the vice president is getting nailed about the issue of Social Security out in a crowd.
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED FEMALE: Just a short message. Al Gore, stop scaring the seniors. We old gals, we don't need all the scare tactics. Our Social Security is secure.
The young people have another option. But the senior citizens, just leave us alone and stop scaring us. And young man, just stop it. Thank you.
(END VIDEO CLIP)
ZAHN: Stop it. Stop it. Have you preached that yet on the show?
MCDONALD: No. But she just gave me an idea for a sketch where it's Al Gore as a ghost. Boo.
(LAUGHTER)
MCDONALD: Boo.
SULLIVAN: Stop it.
MCDONALD: Boo.
SULLIVAN: Stop it.
MCDONALD: Boo.
SULLIVAN: Stop it. Stop.
MCDONALD: And this is the old lady. You as the old lady.
SULLIVAN: I'm the-all right. I can do that.
ZAHN: Is this how the show comes along? You sit around in a room and you kick around the big political ideas of the week, and then you play what you just did?
SULLIVAN: This is actually...
MCDONALD: Yeah.
SULLIVAN: ... It is pretty close that how we actually do it. We have a lot of down time between sketches. Two people are working on something, and four of us
are off. We really sit in the couches and just sort of make up about 108 bad jokes and then one funny one.
MCDONALD: And the writers are all really on top of their game. And they come in with stuff too. And they'll come to the cast sometimes. And then the cast will
bounce back.
ZAHN: I want you to take a look at this surveillance video of Patrick Kennedy going through LAX airport. And I want to get your take on it.
MCDONALD: I'm looking forward to it.
(CROSSTALK)
ZAHN: Take a peek. What do you remember about this?
SULLIVAN: I heard about it.
ZAHN: You heard about it.
SULLIVAN: I think it's going to be funny.
ZAHN: Here we go. So there appears to be a scuffle going on on tape. So that doesn't show that money buys power, does it, Michael?
MCDONALD: No. I think what it does-well, I would say now the Kennedys, they have a tough time with the women, the Kennedy men, don't they?
COLLINS: Good thing it didn't happen on a bridge.
MCDONALD: What?
(LAUGHTER)
ZAHN: Oh, no. Callous (ph) humor here this evening on this Friday night.
(CROSSTALK)
ZAHN: All right, team, stand by. We've got another part of our conversation right after this break. We'll be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
(BEGIN VIDEO CLIP)
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: I'm from the Bronx. And I go to Porthress (ph) High School. In the past six months, I've lost two friends. Two of my friends was
murdered.
And the police officers, they didn't find anybody. And it's like they're not putting any effort into finding anybody. And how are you going to lean on the police
departments to put more effort into their investigations?
HILLARY CLINTON (D), NEW YORK SENATORIAL CANDIDATE: What happened to your friends? Can I ask?
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: One of them was shot in the head. The other one was shot in the back six times.
CLINTON: Was it a drive-by? Was it a gang thing...
UNIDENTIFIED MALE: No.
CLINTON: ... What was it?
(END VIDEO CLIP)
ZAHN: All right, Hillary on urban problems. Continuing now with our ``Mad'' week in review with Michael McDonald, Mo Collins, and Nicole Sullivan. What did
you think of that?
MCDONALD: All she needed to add was just maybe talk with some gestures too. Should would have really looked street.
SULLIVAN: What's up?
MCDONALD: What's up? Was it a drive-by?
SULLIVAN: A little drive by? Or what's going on with these, brother?
COLLINS: It was drive-by racism, but not anything to do with him.
SULLIVAN: Right.
MCDONALD: That's a lady up with the street.
ZAHN: So she's guilty of racial stereotyping.
MCDONALD: Yes.
COLLINS: Of the people.
ZAHN: So are you guys kind of sad you're not going to have Rudy Giuliani to cover in this upcoming Senate race?
(CROSSTALK)
SULLIVAN: We can still get him.
MCDONALD: Yeah. We can still get him.
SULLIVAN: He's still around. You know...
COLLINS: You can run but you can't hide.
SULLIVAN: ... Yeah.
ZAHN: One thing, unfortunately, I think-or one story you're going to continue to talk about is Elian. You have seen the picture with the blue scarf.
SULLIVAN: Elian. Elian. I can't get enough of Elian.
(CROSSTALK)
ZAHN: What do you think? Do you have a problem with how he's being educated here on American soil? This is him in bed when, obviously, he was making the
tape saying he didn't want to go back to Cuba.
But I want to fast forward to the picture taken this week with the Young Pioneers scarf, which some people say signifies that he's a full-fledged member of the
Communist Party.
MCDONALD: Well, the Communist fashions are really, really fantastic. The summer line...
SULLIVAN: Yeah. The fall last year was a weak Communist line...
MCDONALD: ... Fall, yeah.
SULLIVAN: ... And now it's the independent party...
MCDONALD: Really.
SULLIVAN: ... that has a nice low-cut top and skirt outfit that's going.
ZAHN: See, there's the scarf. What does that signal to you?
MCDONALD: It's like ``I'm a pirate and a commie.''
SULLIVAN: Can we ask him to even define communism? I'm sure he doesn't know. He's a puppet, puppet to a lot of different people right now.
MCDONALD: I know. That poor kid. He's been...
(CROSSTALK)
SULLIVAN: I mean, kids that age don't even dress themselves. Why are they thinking that he's a Communist? They don't even pick out their own shirts...
MCDONALD: I picked out my clothes, though, at that age. I was a little picky.
ZAHN: You did?
MCDONALD: Sure.
ZAHN: Your parents didn't tell you what to wear?
MCDONALD: Well, my mom as a joke...
ZAHN: No parental authority in that home.
MCDONALD: ... My mom one time said, ``Why don't you wear your birthday suit?'' And I was looking for my birthday suit, and I didn't know what it was.
COLLINS: Oh...
SULLIVAN: And did they laugh? They went, ``Ha, ha, ha, ha.''
MCDONALD: And then...
(CROSSTALK)
ZAHN: She doesn't tell you that anymore, does she?
MCDONALD: No. No, not in...
ZAHN: So what is the most outrageous thing you've done to someone on the air since this show started? Who have you skewered the worst?
SULLIVAN: The one I think we skewered the worst was Lea Thompson, ``Caroline in the City.''
ZAHN: What did you do to her?
SULLIVAN: We took that show, and we dragged it behind a Mack truck at about 90 miles an hour. And then when it was scuffed up, we just poured salt on all the
bloody wounds.
ZAHN: Ouch.
SULLIVAN: Yeah, we took that show down.
MCDONALD: They went down hard.
ZAHN: Well, you got a lot of credit for taking on ``Felicity'' too.
SULLIVAN: Yeah.
MCDONALD: Yeah.
ZAHN: And what did you call that show? I forgot the...
MCDONALD: ``Intensity.''
SULLIVAN: ``Intensity.''
ZAHN: ``Intensity.''
MCDONALD: We did an episode of ``Politically Incorrect.''
SULLIVAN: Oh, yeah. Bill Maher took a header on that one.
MCDONALD: He went down hard. And she played Britney Spears. And were you on that?
COLLINS: No.
MCDONALD: And I played Chris Burke (ph), Corky from ``Life Goes On,'' the actor who has Down's Syndrome. So like nothing, nothing is...
ZAHN: Nothing is sacred on this show.
(CROSSTALK)
SULLIVAN: ... is too much really.
MCDONALD: No.
ZAHN: Do you ever feel that any of you have ever personally crossed a line, violated a line...
MCDONALD: Yes.
SULLIVAN: Oh, yes.
ZAHN: ... where you...
(CROSSTALK)
ZAHN: ... apologized for it?
COLLINS: You do have to...
MCDONALD: We'll go in the...
COLLINS: ... You just have to go inside yourself and find your calling.
(CROSSTALK)
ZAHN: Are you like in deep therapy now?
COLLINS: Because you can't admit it publicly because that would speak out against the show. But it's like, yeah, you have your...
SULLIVAN: I've closed the door and gone, ``Oh, my God.''
(LAUGHTER)
MCDONALD: Sometimes I would walk in and take a shower with a steel brush, like a horse brush.
COLLINS: Some great paranoia out in the world.
SULLIVAN: Yeah.
ZAHN: But the beauty of your show is that it's meant to be politically incorrect.
MCDONALD: Yes.
ZAHN: We have to be so careful today.
(CROSSTALK)
COLLINS: It's our job.
ZAHN: So there's really no meter that goes off saying, ``Oh, I'm in trouble. I'm in trouble. I'm in trouble.''
COLLINS: No.
MCDONALD: But the beauty is too, we don't know. None of us know anybody of note.
SULLIVAN: Right.
MCDONALD: So we're not going to...
SULLIVAN: Luckily, yeah.
COLLINS: And we never will.
(CROSSTALK)
SULLIVAN: The Ramseys are not going to be stopping by to see us anytime soon. But...
ZAHN: Oh, did you give them a hard time too?
SULLIVAN: Oh, my. Oh, yeah. The Ramseys went down hard.
MCDONALD: Virtually the only impression I do is John Ramsey.
SULLIVAN: John Ramsey.
ZAHN: Would you like to do?
MCDONALD: I don't, he doesn't speak.
ZAHN: He doesn't speak. That was it. That was it.
(CROSSTALK)
ZAHN: I got it. I got it. Very effective.
Well, it's good to see all three of you. And I wish you continued...
MCDONALD: Thank you for having us.
(CROSSTALK)
ZAHN: ... good luck with the show. How many seasons do you think you'll make it? You've gone six. No one ever thought you'd make it to two, right?
SULLIVAN: No. No...
(CROSSTALK)
ZAHN: You know how it is with these new shows. Not that they didn't love it. But the track record for these shows is...
(CROSSTALK)
SULLIVAN: We're going 25. That's my...
ZAHN: Twenty-five. Will you come back for your 25th-year reunion?
SULLIVAN: If I'm around on this show in 25 years, someone throw me in front of a bus. If I'm doing the exact same thing for 25 years, dear God.
ZAHN: Job security though is not such a bad thing.
SULLIVAN: No it's not.
MCDONALD: I agree.
COLLINS: Great.
ZAHN: Well, we will be looking for you. And people do recognize who you are. Just be careful when you get around some of these politicians.
SULLIVAN: Yeah, you would know, Paula.
ZAHN: Again, good luck.
(CROSSTALK)
ZAHN: Oh, I hear from them on e-mail every night. Thank you again for dropping by.
You can catch ``Mad TV'' Saturday nights on the FOX network. And coming up next, will she or won't she? Paula Jones nude in ``Penthouse''?
What do you guys think? Is it going to happen?
(CROSSTALK)
MCDONALD: I want to know if she's had everything altered.
SULLIVAN: ... All of a sudden, they want her naked. It's weird...
(CROSSTALK)
ZAHN: Bob Guccione is coming up. He'll tell us the truth. Stay here with THE EDGE.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
END