Nicole Sullivan on Hollywood Squares.
"They're the Hollywood squares,
(L.A. chicks are rockin')
And they're coming in pairs.
(Get their kicks tonight)
Are you going somewhere?
(L.A. chicks are rockin')
They're the Hollywood squares."
- Enuff Z'Nuff, Hollywood Squares
Nicole Sullivan appeared on Hollywood Squares during the week of May 11 as part of the show's "Blondes Have More Fun Week." Other panelists included Pamela Anderson (the center square), Loni Anderson, Florence Henderson, Charo and Miss Piggy. In an interesting twist, none of the contestants got to return as returning champions, and they were all purported hunks. Otherwise, the week's proceedings were pretty routine, but not altogether prosaic - in other words, another week at Hollywood Squares.
It may be just my imagination, but it seemed that Nicole Sullivan was picked by the players more than in her first few appearances. This probably was due to the fact that this time, she occupied the upper left corner rather than one of the side squares, as she had in her previous appearances - the corners, of course have more strategic significance in tic tac toe than the side squares. This gave her more screen time, but otherwise Ms. Sullivan's latest appearance on Hollywood Squares was a bit anticlimactic. The problem was that all of her fellow panelists were chosen because they were blonde-haired women; this resulted in several panelists' appeal being primarily pneumatic (I won't name names, but you can guess which ones I'm thinking of). I would rather see how well Ms. Sullivan stacks up against comedic giants such as Martin Mull and Joan Rivers than see her as part of a panel of blondes. [She pretty much held her own against them.] Otherwise, several of her quips were quite good. When asked what Jack Nicholson wanted the waitress to put between her legs in the movie Five Easy Steps, she said, that he wanted her to put his ego between her legs, and "it didn't fit." In another question in which she was asked which came first - Rolling Stone or the Rolling Stones, she responded that the important question is whose circulation is better. This might not be on par with vintage Paul Lynde, but it was enough to elicit a laugh from me, which is more than can be said about the rejoinders from most of the other panelists.
The contestants on
Hollywood Squares don't win huge amounts of money - the most
a contestant gets is a few thousand dollars, a car, and fifteen minutes
of fame. As a result, Hollywood Squares survives on gimmickry -
the gimmickry of a glorified tic tac toe game tarted up with some star
power. And it's done pretty well for itself, surviving almost forty
years in a cutthroat industry. Nicole Sullivan can't claim that level
of longevity, but TV apperances like these will help her cause. Most
importantly, Hollywood Squares provides a showcase for her
comedic talent that her appearances on King Of Queens and
(more recently) Less Than Perfect did not. For that reason
alone, her appearances on the show, though very unlikely to lift
her beyond B-list celebrity status, are worthwhile, both for Ms.
Sullivan and the viewers.
Another vidcap from Hollywood Squares.
Video clips (in Windows Media 8.0 format) - special thanks to HiVolt and the good people at Planet MadTV for contributing video footage: