Review of 4-15-2000 episode (MD-521; some spoilers)

This review can also be found at:

        http://www.nic0lesullivan.org/md521.txt

I saw the pilot episode of "Talk to Me" on Tuesday night (for the
second time), and I was not very impressed. The critics largely were
right: the radio show segments seem too scripted, and the plot was
pretty lame (the lesson we learn is that women feel pain differently
from men). Nicole Sullivan, however, demonstrates better comedic
instincts than anyone on the cast and while unable to singlehandedly
save the show at least dominates the scenes in which she appears. The
relative mediocrity of the show did not hurt ratings very much, as
"Talk to Me" scored a 9.2/14 in the overnights, first in its time slot.
And in all fairness, one cannot judge a show by its pilot. "The
Drew Carey Show," for example, got bad reviews when it first aired
(so did "Seinfeld"), but all other things being equal, it would have
been better if they came out with a stronger pilot episode. In any
case, the early success of the show probably means that ABC will let
it run until the end of the season (four more episodes), unlike "Wonderland"
which was pulled after only two episodes. Whether or not it gets renewed
for the fall is anyone's guess.


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The List: Luke Perry (Pat Kilbane) hosts a show about one-hit wonders.
The guests are Method Man (Aries Spears), Martha Stewart (Mo Collins),
Dionne Warwick (Debra Wilson) and John and Patsy Ramsey (Michael
McDonald, Alex Borstein). This maybe does not seem like that inspired
an idea on paper, but the cast brings it to life with good celebrity
impressions. Even Michael McDonald isn't that annoying. Favorite
moment: when Martha Stewart says "Come On Eileen" is her favorite
one-hit wonder. [Dexy's Midnight Runners also did an excellent cover
version of "Jackie Wilson Said," but that's irrelevant, I guess.] Not
bad for an opening segment - certainly better that just having a cast
member come out at the beginning. Also good: Kilbane as Luke Perry saying
"I have no idea what you said but watch me smile and nod," plus the
reference to the panel as "unqualified" and Stewart using the f-word
and using the middle finger.

On the Streets with Jewel: Jewel (Mo Collins), who has the "soul of
a poet and the voice of an angel," hangs out with homeless people
and reads her poetry. Jewel, it is claimed, was once homeless (it
seems that this is almost a prerequisite for being a pop star now; I
read somewhere that the lead singer from Creed lived in his car), so
she can sympathize with the plight of the homeless. But the homeless
seem more concerned with begging for money than in listening to Jewel's
poetry, which by the way evokes memories of both Alfred Lord Tennyson
and Rik the People's Poet (from "The Young Ones"). This was not that
funny but it was a good celebrity impression by Collins (accurate
except for the teeth).

Jack Nicholson Pajama Party: Jack Nicholson (Pat Kilbane) has a pajama
party with The Artist Formerly Known as Prince (Phil LaMarr) and
Steven Segal (Will Sasso). Eddie Murphy (Aries Spears) tries to crash
their party, at which they play Super Mario Brothers and retire to
a fort. This was somewhat funny, especially when they come up with lame
excuses to try to keep Murphy away. But it was not as well written
as, for example, the cell phone sketch from last week's show, which
at least had a punch line, or other sketches from the show's illustrious
history, and Murphy constantly knocking on the door gets a bit tedious
after awhile. Still, it wasn't a total waste.

Antiques Roadshow I: Fenton Kenilworth (Will Sasso) tells a woman (Mo
Collins) who brings a flask for him to appraise that her grandmother
was an opium fiend who orally serviced Chinese rail workers. It was
funny mostly for Sasso/Kenilworth's obvious relish in telling the
sordid details of the woman's grandmother's whoring activities. This was
OK; they've accurately captured the look and feel of the show (except
for those captions that come across the bottom of the screen with
the little treasure chest and the value of that which was appraised).

Fanatic: This is about a paraplegic fan (Brooke Totem) meeting her
idol, Shania Twain (Mo Collins). Her brother (Michael McDonald), who
apparently was responsible for her being a paraplegic, wheels her around.
This wasn't much of a Shania Twain parody (although we do see a parody
of one of her videos - "That Don't Impress Me Much" becomes "I Ain't
So Sure About That" - and Brad Pitt become Scott Baio!); it's more about a
fan making a total fool of herself and Twain's obvious disinterest in the
whole affair. Also we get an amusing racial slur in here: the fan says that
she and Twain have a lot in common because Twain's father was an Indian and
Indians are alcoholics and her mom is an alcoholic. This falls into the
middle rank in terms of overall quality, at least in my opinion; they
did a very good job of reproducing the look and feel of the real "Fanatic"
but then again it was nothing they didn't accomplish in the 100th episode
when Sasso meets Nicole Sullivan. Probably the funniest part was where
the girl falls out of her wheelchair. This was OK.

Antiques Roadshow II: Fenton Kenilworth (Sasso) tells a woman (Debra
Wilson) that her grandfather was a cross-dresser and that his dress
is worth $12,000. Of course once she finds out how much the dress is
worth she no longer feels insulted by the man's remarks. This was pretty
good.

Dylan and Kerry's Wedding: Husband (Pat Kilbane) and wife (Alex Borstein)
marry off their "good" daughter (Mo Collins), but the wedding reception
is disturbed by the girl's rather slutty sister (Brooke Totem) and her
white trash husband (Will Sasso). They not only drink too much and yell
at each other, but for the denouement they end up having sex in their
truck. At first it reminded me a little of a "Kids in the Hall" sketch
in which Dave Foley was the father and Bruce McCulloch was the bride
and Kevin McDonald was a former fiancee who comes to the reception to
confront the bride (admittedly, though, this sketch was much different -
but I spent a good part of this segment mimicing Foley, saying "I long
for the days of railway travel and virgin brides"). This was arguably
the funniest segment in a relatively mediocre show.

Antiques Roadshow III: This time, the owner of the antique (Alex Borstein)
steals Kenilworth's thunder by revealing that the item is a whore's
candelabra and that her grandmother was a whore who serviced Chinese
rail-workers. But she had the candelabra re-plated, so the item is
now worthless (Kenilworth getting the last laugh). Overall the three
segments were not bad; I liked the fixation on Chinese rail-workers (don't
know if this is something based on the actual show or just something
the writers made up).

Allison: This time, Allison (Alex Borstein) is the personal assistant to
the first female chairperson of a company (Debra Wilson). It turns out she is
having an affair with the woman's husband (Pat Kilbane); she resigns, leaving
the two to contemplate sex on the office chair. And of course she
inexplicably breaks out into song when she is nervous. It was not
the most obvious character to recur but this was OK, though I didn't
laugh openly during this segment.

Antonia: This is a Calvin Klein perfume parody from last season.
Although most of the time I question why they would reprise a segment
from season four, which most fans who have seen all five seasons generally
feel is the WORST season in the history of the show, this segment
was probably the best Antonia segment from last season (although
the Antonia segments generally have not been as good without Phil LaMarr)
and therefore was worth repeating (especially since other than this
segment, Nicole Sullivan was once again absent). We get a shirtless
male model, black-and-white vignettes interspersed with color ones, and
Antonia (Sullivan) striking a Marylin Monroe-esque pose (the dress just
kind of flies straight up and Antonia coughs uncontrollably, saying
"I can't breathe") - in other words all the essential elements of a
Calvin Klein ad. This was pretty good; if they're not going to give
us a full hour of new material, this was as good a segment to repeat
as any.

Bunifah with Judge Joe Brown: Bunifah (Debra Wilson) returns a damaged
dress to a boutique (owned by Pat Kilbane), and winds up in small claims
court (presided over by Judge Joe Brown). Bunifah loses the case when
the plaintiff furnishes a tape of a Snoop Doggy Dogg video in which
Bunifah appears, wearing the dress. Of course she calls Sonia, who
is watching the show even though these syndicated shows are always taped
well in advance of airing. This was OK; it was pretty much a typical
Bunifah sketch except for the presence of special guest star Judge Joe
Brown.

Closing Segment: Mo Collins (who these days seems to be getting the
most air time, thus emerging as more and more the "star" of the show)
reads a list of people she wants to thank, as if she won an award. Michael
McDonald cuts her off. This was pretty good.
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MD-521 was a fairly mediocre show in my opinion, with none of the segments
(save perhaps one of the Antiques Roadshow segments) causing me to
laugh out loud. This would have been OK if the humor was meant to be
appreciated in a more sublime way, but this wasn't the case; most of the
show was pretty low-brow anyway. As if to accentuate the relative weakness
of the show, after "Mad" ended I turned on SNL, and while some of the
segments were not very impressive (I didn't think much of the Simmer
Down Now lady and the cartoon was only mildly funny), there was one
segment that was hilarious. They did a parody of "Inside the Actors
Studio" (Will Ferrel was the host) with Dustin Diamond (of "Saved By the
Bell" fame) as the guest. I laughed and laughed. ["When 'Saved By the Bell'
went off the air in 1993, I swore I'd never play Screech again. But
in 1994 when I saw the script for 'Saved By the Bell: The New Class,'
it brought tears to my eyes."] "Mad TV" hasn't provoked such a positive
reaction from me in a long time. This is not to say that SNL is better
than "Mad TV," but when a sketch comedy show goes on for weeks without
producing many laughs (as "Mad TV" has for most of the second half of
this season), one begins to wonder. Nicole Sullivan doesn't appear
this week (again), but for fans who need their weekly fix, there's
always "Talk to Me." (4/10)

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