Review of 12-11-1999 episode (MD-511; some spoilers)

As always, this review can also be found at:

        http://www.nic.com/~dzien/nicolesullivan/md511.txt

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Opening Segment: Ms. Swan (Alex Borstein) dyes her hair blonde and sings
"Call Me" rather tunelessly (with the members of Blondie, no less). Then
the real Deborah Harry appears on stage, and Ms. Swan claims that it was
she - not Deborah Harry - who wrote "Call Me." She shows a video clip of
her allegedly writing the song on a tuba to try to prove her point. This
was about average for an opening segment this year - it wasn't meant to
be particularly funny, but was more an opportunity to use a celebrity
cameo; in this sense, it served its purpose. Interesting also is that
when they show the Swan video clip, she also has sheet music for "Back
in Black," suggesting that she also claims to have written this song
as well.

Santa's Sweatshop: A skeptical little boy (Alex Borstein) wonders how
Santa (Will Sasso) can supply toys to the entire world. The answer:
he has a sweatshop in Honduras, where cheap labor enables him to
keep costs down. Still, this doesn't really answer the question, since
the issue is how he can produce so much stuff, not why the stuff is
so cheap. If the viewer is willing to overlook this illogic, he or she
will probably find the segment fairly entertaining and a good parody of
(or antidote for) all those feel-good Christmas specials that air around
this time of year (e.g., "The Grinch Who Stole Christmas," which would
have us believe that small children would be equally happy on Christmas
even if they had no presents, and in addition would have us believe that
a heartless creature like the Grinch would be so moved by this fact that
he would give back all the presents - here, Dr. Suess would have
been better off sticking to stories about star-bellied sneeches). And since
the sweatshop is in Honduras, the writers can't resist a jibe at Kathie
Lee Gifford, which is always good for a few laughs.

Mariah Misadventures: This video parody takes the concept
of Mariah Carey videos in which Mariah Carey (Debra Wilson) shows off her
physicial attributes one step further by showing Carey in a bikini top
and short shorts, with plenty of gratuitous shots of her boobs and butt.
Since this is a "Totally Requested Live" video, the corner of the screen
intermittently displays people talking about how crazy Mariah Carey is
(one of the viewers even implores Carey to "put some clothes on"). This
was OK.

Rooftop Memories: A domineering wife (Nicole Sullivan) and
her husband (Pat Kilbane) are trying to string Christmas lights up on
the roof of their house, but the husband keeps falling off the roof.
Since this is basically the same sight gag repeated over and over again,
its entertainment value is limited; still, the wife gets in some good
one-liners here at the husband's expense: e.g. "Christmas came early -
my husbands dead!" Plus: "I wish Alzheimer's would set in, so I could
forget I ever married you."

Darlene McBride Christmas Album: The first Darlene McBride segment
in over a year! Rumor has it that Nicole Sullivan doesn't like this
character; a recent Hollywood Reporter article confirms that the
character was created by the writers, not Sullivan; it's possible that
she doesn't like it because along with the Vancome Lady it means that
she's playing two bigoted characters. Nonetheless, Darlene McBride is
one of the only purely political parodies that the show still does,
and while that makes some of these segments more topical and therefore
dated, most of them are good, and if you can't make fun of gun-toting
rednecks, who can you make fun of? McBride (Sullivan) lambasts blacks,
Jews, Hillary Clinton, Al Gore, Bill Bradley, and Warren Beatty. Even
Santa is not safe from this woman - she calls him a pedophile and
threatens to shoot him if he comes near her kids. This segment was
about as good as I remember most of the Darlene McBride segments
were; admittedly this is a safe play, not requiring much creativity
by the writers, but the "Y2K" song, with McBride predicting Armagaeddon,
was a nice touch.

Martin Lawrence's Brushes with Death IV: William "what seems to be
the problem" Shatner (Will Sasso) hosts this sensationalistic, reality-
based program. Martin Lawrence (Aries Spears) gets run over by a truck,
and frightens some tourists and ex-co-star Teisha Campbell (Debra Wilson).
Funny here is Sasso's rendering of Shatner's dialogue: halting, with the
first portion of each phrase amplified, as if it's a corrupted form of
iambic pentameter. It's also humorous because it's topical: it reflects
how, with Fox's ratings declining, they are now trying to boost ratings
by airing more of those sensationalistic, reality-based specials like
"World's Greatest Police Chases" and variants of "When Animals Attack."
Also funny is the way Shatner asserts that none of the incidents were
drug-related. Moreover, since this segment wasn't that long, even if
you didn't like it, it didn't overstay its welcome.

Stuart - X-Mas at the Truck Stop: Stuart (Michael McDonald) and
his mother (Mo Collins) stop at a diner; predictably, Stuart has
to use the bathroom. Later, Stuart lies on the floor, in his "dark
space;" he is eventually coaxed out of it by the diner owner
(Deborah Harry) singing "Silent Night." We are also subjected to the
spectacle of seeing Michael McDonald in his underwear. This is pretty
much Stuart-by-numbers, which means that it has all of the disadvantages
of the average Stuart sketch, although at least we get a good guest
performance by Harry (who admittedly doesn't seem to be much of an actress,
but pulls this role off capably).

Blondie: Blondie takes the stage again, this time with Deborah Harry,
to perform "Maria." The choice of Blondie - an excellent band but one which
hasn't been a driving force in pop music since the early 1980's - is an
interesting one; it suggests that, as at least one magazine article has
suggested, the show is going after an older demographic than before. The
song performed here, "Maria," originally appeared on the "No Exit" album
released earlier in 1999; as evidenced by this performance, this
song is certainly "radio-friendly" and captures much of the infectious
quality of the earlier Blondie material. Apparently, Harry was able to
reunite four of the original five members of the band, and it seems
that after a long period of inactivity, the band was pretty much able
to pick up where they left off. Although I'm not much of a fan of the
punk/new wave movement, I give this performance a thumbs-up. In any
case, I'd much rather listen to this than the latest effort by rival
fiftysomething rocker Cher (which isn't saying much; I'd rather watch
knee surgery than listen to a Cher album).

Alison - The Musical: Sketch about a couple (Phil LaMarr, Debra Wilson)
who set up a friend (Will Sasso) on a blind date with another
friend (Alex Borstein) who sings when she's nervous. At first the
man is mad at his friend for setting him up with a freak, but
then when it becomes apparent that the woman wants to have sex
with him, he decides to take her home ("whatever; as long as I'm
getting laid"). This was OK; it wasn't the greatest idea for a
sketch, but is executed capably by the cast.

Closing Segment: Blondie returns to perform "Call Me" as the credits
roll. This performance wasn't as inspired as the first one but was good,
and it made sense to follow up one of the new songs with a classic. As
an additional plus, we don't get the odious split-screen during the
credits.
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This fifth "Mad TV" Christmas special did not feature any particularly
inspired segments (we didn't even get a Corky Quackenbush segment this
time, something which in itself would make the show worth watching).
In fact, the best segment in my opinion was Blondie performing "Maria" -
not even a comedic segment, but arguably one of the best performances
by a musical artist on the show. In fact, this seemed to be the least
ambitious Christmas show ever. Even so, it had enough going for it to
justify ranking it slightly above average. Unfortunately, this show only
contained two segments in which Nicole Sullivan appeared.
Overall, the first eleven episodes for the season were somewhat
superior to the first eleven from season four, which is a good sign,
but still inferior to seasons one and two, when the show had a bigger budget
(the cost of making an episode is estimated to be about $800,000, or
approximately one-half the weekly budget of "Saturday Night Live"). (6/10)


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