Some of you have been wondering why I didn't post this review to
alt.tv.mad-tv on Sunday morning. I haven't gotten lazy; I was just
preoccupied with moving the Nicole Sullivan site to a new URL (more on
that later). For now, this review is available at:

        http://www.nic.com/~dzien/nicolesullivan/md311.txt

Also, you may have noticed that Pat Kilbane is going to be on "Later"
on Thursday, December 23. So you see, I have been paying attention.

==========================================================================
Opening Segment: The cast is assembled on a set that resembles a house,
in a parody of cheesy Christmas specials. Then they welcome their
family members; Aries Spears insists that they are real family members
even though his grandmother is white. There are a bunch of children on
the set as well (more extras). Then we get a word from the show's
"sponsor": Spishak. The president of Spishak (Chris Hogan) announces
that tonight's Christmas special will air commercial-free, but then
there's an advertisement for Schmattel's "G.I. Jew" - in itself an
interesting concept; he's armed with a menorah in one hand and a machine
gun in the other hand, doing battle with facist enemies. [The concept
is O.K., but wouldn't it be funnier if there was some underlying
irony? I can picture it now: "G.I. Gandhi," in which the hitherto
nonviolent leader of India's independence movement fights hand-to-hand
with his enemies.] Still, the way they announce the price as $6.99 and
then "Jew" the price down to $6.25 was a nice touch, as was the G.I.
Jew reformed (essentially indistinguishable from a standard G.I. Joe).
There was nothing in this first segment that impressed me too much; still,
it deserves credit for being somewhat more ambitious than most of the
opening segments.

Christmas Wraparound #1: Mary Scheer and Will Sasso talk about this
year's Christmas party; Sasso says that it's the best Mad TV Christmas
party ever; Scheer points out that he just joined the cast, so how the
hell would he know? [A less cool show would have let Sasso get away with
his initial comment.] One of the children complains to Scheer about
an annoying smell. But the arrival of James Brown (Aries Spears) diverts
everyone's attention. He entertains the children with an incoherent
(but mercifully brief) recitation of "Twas the Night Before Christmas."
I never really liked Spears' impression of James Brown - the argument
could be made that this impression helped drive "Cabana Chat" into
the ground - and there is nothing here to change my opinion of it. Still,
at least the segment didn't run too long.

Cabana Chat: Speaking of "Cabana Chat," this episode features the first
appearance of the popular segment since MD-302 (of course, Mary Scheer
was absent from some of the intervening episodes due to her pregnancy).
Since season three featured the "Pool Boy For A Day" contest, we
have to sit through two of those odious videos [though, interestingly
enough, I don't remember seeing any warning on the screen that the
contest is over, like they usually do when they show a rerun like
this - e.g., when they showed the "Drew Carey" bloopers episode in
syndication]. The guest in this segment is Howie Long, who was plugging
a movie in which he had just starred (or perhaps I should say "the movie,"
since I don't recall him doing another movie since then) - the shameless
movie plug makes this segment seem even more dated than it is already.
As I have often noted, "Cabana Chat," a very good recurring segment
during season two, essentially went downhill during season three, once
Pool Boy (Bryan Callen) and Dexter (Orlando Jones) were gone. This is
a textbook example: here it's little more than an excuse for Long to
plug his movie, whereas in the past it was more about the interaction
between the celebs and Wetsworth (Scheer), the host - I cite the Ice-T
segment and the Pauly Shore segment as two examples of "Cabana Chat"
at its best. There were some good lines here - e.g. "Please God, let
Howie Long be a nickname," but for the most part this will just leave
you nostalgic for the good old days, unless you're a new-jack fan.

Christmas Wraparound #2: Lisa Kushell is having a fight with her
"real mother" (Alex Borstein); Phil LaMarr introduces pornographer
Larry Flynt (Will Sasso) - the show's special guest - you see, they
wanted Christopher Reeve on the show, but he cancelled at the last
minute, and they already put down a huge deposit for the wheelchair,
and... Anyhow, as much as I hate to draw comparisons, in my opinion
Dave Herman's Larry Flynt was better; at least Herman didn't portray
Flynt as a generic fat slob. Flynt is here to give the children some
Christmas presents - but apparently, the gifts aren't appropriate for
children, because the screen goes blank; then we get a "Please Stand
By" message, then -

A Pack of Gifts Now: This is Corky Quakenbush's version of "Apocalypse
Now," done as part of the Rudolph trilogy. And this is not as good
as the first two ("Raging Rudolph" may end up winning the title of
best Mad TV animated segment - ever), but it's still very good. It
seems such a dead-on parody of the movie (we even get a parody
of The Doors' "The End"). I especially liked the part
where they intercept the sled, and kill a woman who they think is
reaching for a gun - but she was actually reaching for a baby penguin.
And of course, the ultimate showdown between Rudolph and Santa Claus
was memorable too (interspersed with images of small children opening
presents). Rudolph has won, but the cost of his victory is that he
now feels morally bankrupt - what more needs to be said?

G.I. Junkie/G.I. Janitor/G.I. Jailbait/G.I. Jevohah's Witness/G.I.
Judas: The logical sequels to G.I. Jew: G.I. Junkie is a Vietnam-era
drug-addicted soldier; G.I. Janitor cleans up the mess when the battle
is done; G.I. Jailbait is an underage hooker; G.I. Jehovah's Witness
disturbs the enemy early on Sunday morning; G.I. Judas is - Judas.
This is what it would be like if Stanley Kubrick or Oliver Stone ran
Hasbro. Again, not a terribly original concept, and both this and
the "G.I. Jew" segment had a low-budget feel, but overall it was
well-rendered and in keeping with the holiday theme. (What evokes the
spirit of Christmas better than toy commercials?)

Christmas Wraparound #3: Nicole Sullivan is taking a picture of some
of the cast members and some of the extras; their sweaters spell
"ASSHLE." A man wearing a sweater with the letter "O" on it asks if
he should be in the picture; she says thanks, but no. [Strange - last
I checked, there was no "L" in "Merry Christmas;" nor was there an
"O." I guess that's what they call artistic license.] Anyway, good
enough for a cheap laugh.

Corky and the Juice Pigs: They're singing "Christmas Drinks and Drunken
Alibis." This wasn't one of their better performances on the show, but
still Corky and the Juice Pigs were one of the most reliable staples
of season three, and there performance here certainly doesn't hurt
the show.

Christmas and the Klumps: This is probably Aries Spears' best recurring
character. The Klumps (Aries Spears) are a stereotypical black family;
the husband farts a lot and is very opinionated; the wife thinks that
everyone who is accused of wrongdoing - e.g. Mike Tyson, Eddie Murphy -
is just misunderstood, or needs a hug, and the mother-in-law is obsessed
with sex. Here, Cletus deigns to make some derisive comments about
Eddie Murphy (making perjorative comments about "Dr. Dolittle"), has
a food fight with his mother-in-law, and engages the Klumps' dinner
guest, Arnold Schwartznegger (Pat Kilbane) in conversation (he also plays
"Jingle Bells" armed only with his sphincter). Apart from "A Pack
of Gifts Now," this in my opinion was the best segment in the show.

Christmas Wraparound #4: Two of the children complain to Mary Scheer
(again) about the smell; a couple (Pat Kilbane, Lisa Kushell) whose
car broke down stop at the house, but Phil LaMarr ejects them. This
was OK.

Superstars of the Mexican Wrestling Federation Perform Miracle on 34th
Street: This is a perfect example of an excellent one-off sketch that
should never have been recurred. The El Asso Wipo sketch from MD-219
with Dave Herman as El Asso Wipo and with Phil LaMarr trying to
convince him to change his name was very good. Then they made it
into a recurring segment with Chris Hogan as El Asso Wipo and Will
Sasso as Senor Bag of Crap (Aries Spears is El Diablo Negro), and
it was all downhill from there. This segment is a prime example: what
made the writers think that a bunch of wrestlers performing "Miracle
on 34th Street" is a funny concept? [Undoubtedly, some of the show's
juvenille viewers will find it funny, but these are probably the same
people incessantly requesting Stuart .wav files.] The only funny
element here is that the wrestler's acting is really bad, especially
Senor Bag of Crap, but seeing bad acting isn't necessarily funny,
and it isn't here. Thankfully, now that Hogan is gone, they seem
to have retired this segment (not that I necessarily dislike Hogan,
but this segment was really bad).

Christmas Wraparound #5: Now they've found the source of the smell;
it is of course dead bodies (at least fifteen). A police sergeant
(Pat Kilbane) claims that it's a mass grave. Again, not the most
original idea, but at least it's black humor in the grand tradition
of Mad Magazine (at least, in the magazine's current incarnation).

Antonia - Department Store Santa: Antonia (Nicole Sullivan) visits a
mall Santa (Phil LaMarr - who else), and is unable to even tell him
what she wants for Christmas. When Santa asks one of the other kids
what he wants for Christmas to demonstrate how it is done, Antonia simply
repeats the same list of presents. This is the fifth Antonia sketch,
and by now the character is pretty rigidly defined, so this one isn't
as much fun to watch as, for example, the first two sketches were;
still, this sketch ranks above average and has some great moments - I
think this was the first time Antonia left and then miraculously
(and instantaneously) reappeared, something they used in future sketches.
Alex Borstein also appears (as an elf).

Christmas Wraparound #6: Alex Borstein and Lisa Kushell, the two
Jewish castmembers, are grateful that they have been given valuable
airtime in order to talk about Hannukah. But as soon as they start talking,
the show cuts to a commercial. Of course, they have used this ploy
before - MD-102 comes to mind, in which they cut to commercial just
as Mary Scheer is about to demonstrate folk arts and gymnastics. This
was OK.

Christmas Wraparound #7: Mary Scheer explains that the fact that
dead bodies were found in the fake house was actually a good thing,
because now the families of the victims will have closure. Debra
Wilson sings a song. Admittedly, now it's becoming more like a cheesy
Christmas show rather than a parody of one, but this segment was still
OK.

Closing Segment: Corky and the Juice Pigs come back to sing another song,
but it's expurgated because Fox insists on using the odious split screen
while the credits roll! I'm going to have to find my old copy of this
episode and see if this was any good.

==========================================================================
This week I learned that, nostalgia for the "Mad TV" of old aside,
older isn't necessarily better! This was possibly one of the most
ambitious of the holiday-themed shows, and in my opinion, the weakest
of the bunch. [I've seen them all, and the first two are pretty close,
with the overall advantage going the 1996 Christmas show, although
for those who want a pure-play comedy special, the 1995 Christmas show
wins out. Next comes this year's show, barely edging out last season's,
leaving the season three Christmas special dead last.] Without "A
Pack of Gifts Now" and "The Klumps," this would be a very weak episode
indeed. The attempt to parody cheesy Christmas specials that take place
in fake houses failed to generate much humor. If you want to introduce
the show to your friends who don't watch the show regularly, show
them "A Pack of Gifts Now," but don't show them the rest of the
episode. (5/10)

=====================================================================
Number Six	| http://www.nic.com/~dzien/nicolesullivan/
dzien@nic.com	| (The Unofficial Nicole Sullivan Tribute Page)
=====================================================================
                  (for now)